It’s also not OK to post “what happened?” on a dead person’s wall. If you don’t know the family well enough to pick up the phone, you don’t need to know.

I recently saw that some utter dipshit had responded to one of these classy wall post questions with a detailed account of the person’s suicide. I hope that violation of privacy was worth knowing what happened.

Then I forgot about it for like 4 years.

Then, this morning–jogged by my BFF’s birthday–I remembered the site and logged on. All my old cards were there.

Enjoy.

On Saturday, February 25th, I’ll be opening for Kyle Dunnigan at The Improv in Hollywood, CA. Shows are at 8 pm & 10 pm  and you can get tickets online at Laughstub.

Tickets are $5.00

I have to say, If you are going to put out a body of work with such a spiritually cocky title like Rebirth, you better follow it up with something pretty quickly. And don’t blame us for this expectation; you’re the one who claimed to be reborn.  All we are asking is that you confirm that. Ironically though, while Sweat had generated albums every 2-3 years steadily since 1987, Rebirth proved only to be the beginning of a 6 year hiatus–EXCEPT for A Christmas of Love, which oddly isn’t even listed in his Wikipedia Discography. Which leads me to believe that A Christmas of Love might have been more accurately called A Christmas of Desperation.

I imagine it’s early January of 2006. The note on the Bentley has just come in the mail. Keith opens the envelope with trepidation. He stares at it and sighs.  He looks out the window, the one that overlooks the driveway, and ponders the question he has dreaded his whole life; does he still have what it takes to make ‘em sweat? Just then he spots Mrs. Sweat, decked out in Chanel, carrying only the keys to the Porsche he bought her for Christmas and his American Express Platinum card, the one with the 18% APR and the airline mileage incentive plan. She’s got a Fred Segal look in her eye.

He takes a seat in the Louis Vittion re-apolstered vintage Knoll chair and rests his elbows on his knees, letting his head falls between his hands.

“It’s over,” he whispers to himself.

And then it hits him, like a ton a bricks you might build a chimney with, the only way out of this mess. He picks up the phone and dials the number for ICM.

“Steve, it’s Sweat. Call Rhino. I’m doing a Christmas album.”

Now to Keith’s credit, I must say, it’s not like he pulled a Clay Aiken and just re-filtered old holiday classics though the Sweat machine. From what I can tell, the nine tracks on this album are all original love songs, written to set the mood and ensure your next child is born on September 25. But the best part about this album, on a personal level to Keith, is that it seemed to be the bottom he needed to revive his creative juices and never have to look back (or acknowledge) A Christmas of Love. By 2008, Sweat had released Just Me, a much more humbly titled album and the first not done through Elektra Records. He then went on to complete Ridin’ Solo in 2010 and Til The Morning in 2011.

Seems Keith finally did have the Rebirth he had hoped for.

Since 2007, Sweat has been the host of a nationally syndicated radio program based upon the Quiet storm format. The Keith Sweat Hotel (known as The Quiet Storm with Keith Sweat on WBLS in New York City) is syndicated through Premiere Radio Networks.^[2]

At the risk of being optimistic, I am going to share with you some of my goals for 2012.

1. Hate less people.
At this point, it might be accurate to say that I hate about 80% of the people I know. Many of these are peripheral acquaintances, the rest don’t even know I am alive. Yes, you heard that right, I spend time hating people I have never met. While I conceptually understand this is a waste of time, spending time judging others makes me feel like I have some power–like as if by speaking I am convincing others that my opinion matters somehow.

2. Hate myself less.
This is gonna be a much harder feat for me as I have been my #1 arch enemy for decades. IT’s not that I am a bad person, I am just really annoying. I just don’t seem able to handle things with the balls and integrity that I think they should be handled. How I would handled them if I was me. I simply don’t accomplish enough things and I detest the fact that I am human and need food, sleep water and exercise.

3. Lose 8 lbs.
An agent recently told me I wasn’t L.A. gorgeous. I’ll show him.

4. Do stand-up on TV.
Seems like a reasonable goal for someone who hates doing clean material.

5. Figure out who my REAL friends are and spend a lot more time with them.

6. See my family more.
I have an adorable niece in Boston who I want to get to know better. And as I get older, I actually feel more in need of quality time with my mother than ever before.

7. Write more.
Whether this is more stand-up, a book or a script, I want to write much more in 2012. It’s an art form that I have complete control over and I really like control.

8. Travel.
And I don’t mean to Peoria, IL. Whether it’s for stand-up for vacation, I would really like to see a place I have never seen before.

9. Floss more.
Daily even.

10. And finally, I would like to book an acting role.
Cliche, I know, but what the hell, it’s true. I want to be a professional actress.

If anyone read this, I would love for you to comment by listing some of your goals for this year. I think we can all benefit from a little optimism.

Wishing you all a healthy, happy and prosperous 2012!